SPT self portrait thursday march 10th 2011: International Women's Week

SPT self portrait thursday march 10th 2011, originally uploaded by ebbandflo_pomomama.

talk to the hand

It's been an enlightening week, this International Women's Week.
I've had some truly revealing interactions and made some new progress.

A week ago I helped set up a gallery exhibition with a wonderful supportive group of women artists. They are all so talented and their work so amazingly beautiful; I was astonished to hear murmurings about lack of confidence. I was convinced that they were all comfortable in their artistic skins as evidenced by the standard of the work they were producing. The deadlines have been tight but support and encouragement were never far away. We propped each other up during the stressful times, then got to celebrate together at the opening.


the Blackberry Group of Seven

My amazing and busy neighbour (who is now a busy re-usable lunchbags home industry herself! link coming soon I hope) stepped in at short notice to look after the house when I gallivanted off to Whistler with the family. *blows kisses*

This week I've been blessed (I usually refrain from using this word but it seems apt for now) with catching up with three friends who welcomed me back after my usual hermit-like molto-to-do-list angst and absence. With all three we just started chatting again where we left off weeks/months/years ago. Time flew, problems were aired, and smiles were shared. I hope they felt as rejuvenated as I did.


... and then there was darkness

The last week or so has also been marred by some deeply bizarro unpleasant interactions; real gut-sapping, heart-sinking ones. The kind that make you type "fuck off" and then cancel the send multiple times before realising you're worth much more, and switch off.

Right now I'm also at that shitty point close to the deadline for an exhibition when I think that my work is ugly and crap but it's too late to change anything. My confidence is at a low ebb. The lizard brain is into overdrive with the unhelpful "who do you think you are?" comments. I don't need any help in knocking myself back thank you very much. A year ago I would have believed it; spent the following 24 hours or more in foetal position under a blanket, then spiraled downwards into uselessness, canceling the catching up with friends dates. This year, meh! - I don't have the time or inclination to deal with that kind of energy drain.

Uncannily, the unpleasant interactions have all been with and about women, thus supporting the feminist observation that we are our own worst enemies. Somehow, knocking back one of our kind is second nature to us and personal justification at the expense of another female is the norm. Sad :(

Despite this, my take-away message from this week will be the warmth and support women can offer to each other, without judgment or condemnation. We do walk in each others shoes, simply by being born with a uterus. There is a deep level of understanding in each of us which, at times, needs digging out from all the societally enforced gender stereotyping, competitiveness and perfectionism. We're each trying to do our best whatever, wherever, however.

Daniel Craig will still be cross-dressing in fifty years time if we don't cut each other some slack, ladies.