portrait by the Wee Guy on our day out
So, May 2010. What did I learn?
Well, I took a week off work and suprisingly, it wasn't all about shoes though they did figure large in in my end-of-week summary!
So what did I learn?
Well, I learned that I have to schedule my time off and be firm with boundaries. It's a nebulous enough existence being the at-home parent so it's so easy to just drift .... a little sock needs picking up here, oh and 'I'll just prep these for tonight' there or 'while I'm in the mall I might as well look for x, y, z for the family too'. Boundaries!
I learned that there are certain things that cannot be abandoned, like childcare, parenting and matters of hygiene around the house!
I also learned that I needed to write a list of what I wanted to do with my leisure time and that this list did in fact work out OK.
I learned that I can have fun on a small budget, and that daily treats needn't be big, huge, lavish occasions. Small treat moments have the same impact. The important thing is to learn what these treats are and reward yourself regularly! V motivational.
I learned that not everyone has the ability to reward themselves with time off even though it's there right under their noses.
ahh relaxation!
Since my week off I've been back into the swing of things fulltime. The housework was there waiting for me when I 'returned', my craft business was still on the go, and volunteer duties needed to be filled. I've carried over some of that wonderful 'vacation' feeling into regular life by getting out and about every day rather than sitting cooped up (which is the main problem with an 'out of the home' worklife) so the Wee Guy and I have managed to fill his playdate void with some cool trips/activities. Taking some 'time off' has also let me focus on the bigger picture - I had headspace to ask (and answer) some tricky questions, and also to develop some streamlining techniques for 'in real life'.
I've looked more into what I value most, what I like/dislike about life right now, and where do I want to go. I've also faced the egocentricity of what I'm doing/thinking, realising that in fact everything I do/have done is in, around and in spite of the family anyway. Decisions made for me, myself, I are taken in total consideration of the Wee Guy anyway.
"We give our children life. How, then, can we expect to keep our own intact afterward? But we do. We haven't yet recognized our new position in the natural order of things, and we keep trying to return to where we were before. At first, out of innocence: let me get back my looks. let me get back my energy. let me get back into the swing of things. Then with ferocious will: Let me get back into my life!" - Momma Zen by Karen Maezen Miller
"I find that there are many gifts in this space of quiet pausing between who I was, and who I will become." - Buddhism for Mothers, Joanne
"A mother best serves her child who serves herself." - Buddha
with thanks to Mama Renew for the quotes above
4 comments:
I think your photos say it all ;) I love the quote about serving yourself in order to serve you kidlets (but at the same time recognizing, life is not the same as it was.)
Gotta love the quotes from Mama Renew! Somehow at the end of each session, there's a very apt quote hiding in there.
I am also have my own mum as a role model - she sacrificed a lot, poss too much, and made no bones about how unhappy it made her. Hopefully I can learn from her.
Ah, boundaries. They are very important. I am still working on mine, honestly, but I feel that I am ever so slowly making progress.
I really do believe that in order to feel truly liberated it's important to have boundaries. Then you're worrying about how far you should go and can concentrate on the really important stuff that happens "in the middle of the field".
PS: I believe you!
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