Friday, May 07, 2010

friday forte: moving up, moving on?

(yup, that's me)
(no, the one on the left!)

sigh!
After a looooooooong period of deep (and painful) introspection I think I'm heading off on a right-ish track. April was Hard Work but by getting my head down, organising my time and sitting hunched over my bench I managed to pull everything together in not too shabby a fashion. The last jewelry class finished yesterday (thank you ladies, I had great fun in your company!) and I don't have another craft fair for a month. Creatively I can settle down to making a custom necklace for a friend, finishing a custom wire and fibre pendant ordered at Got Craft? last weekend (thank you both) and some blogging. Over on my 'career' blog I'm telling tales about my jewelry featured in the Blackberry Giftshop for example.

On a personal level I'm experiencing a sense of calm (which is hopefully not before a storm!) with an increase in positive thinking. Don't worry Gillian, I'm still noticing the dark side in everyday life but with more humour and less doom/gloom. Could this be a side effect of the longer daylight hours and (ha ha) sunshine (we are in Lower Mainland BC so our sunshine is still the liquid variety)? Maybe but I'm not going to over-analyse. :)

amanda_trike

So where am I headed now? I'm another month closer to 45, the Wee Guy has taken his seventh (!) birthday in his stride and I'm still the SAHM working out of the home with no definite career plans. What has changed?

All the introspection and soul searching, painful and unpleasant though it was, has pushed me a little ways onto a firmer life traack I think.
I know what I like/appreciate about my life just now.
I understand more of what frustrates me.
And I recognise now what I have control over and what I need to let go of.
I think part of the introspective agony was grieving over what I do have to let go of ...... and with me it's never painless letting go.

Although in the above pics I knew where I was heading I now know that in life your route map is constantly changing. Direction needs to be re-assessed, renegotiated with traveling companions and at times scrapped completely in favour of a safer/more exciting route/detour.

Maybe aging is learning how to accept these changes gracefully,

or maybe it's just saying "fuck, bollocks" and getting on with anyway.
You choose.

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