So I took a week off. It happened last week, kicking off with a day out to the Northern Voice blogging conference last Saturday, ran thru Mother's Day, and ended with a family excursion to Capilano Suspension Bridge.
Northern Voice was incredible fun. I got to put faces to a lot of online avatars and listen to helpful advice re: blogging, podcasting and managing social media. Meeting IRL was strange but delightful - I waved at fellow tweeters in the seminars as I twittered my way thru the seminars.
But a whole week off? How can that be? and why?
Well, April was Incredibly Busy for me and close to the end of the month I was feeling the burn so I decided to make a little vacation time for myself. With some planning I cleared my schedule of all the tedium and priority stuff then populated my planner (aka scrap of paper) with fun things to do. Since I'm such a clutterhead these days I started a writing down Good Ideas for free time a week ahead and had a list to keep me busy in my leisure. OK, the list ran a little odd; knickers, sunglasses and Hat Shop were entries. I cleared my housework duties, made sure the freezer was stocked and put my feet up for hedonism.
Did I manage it? Despite a setback regarding playdates (a mum 'forgot' the tell me her son was now in after school care!) at the beginning of the week yes, I think it went well. I feel that I had "time off" though it was difficult to demarcate what "time off" would look like. It was a great reminder that, when I'm working at or from home all the time, I forget to reward myself with treats. And that these treats don't have to be large and expensive; something as simple as coffee out will do. In fact it became apparent to me that the simple act of leaving the house to relax was a and should be a vital part of each day for me, or at least something to be planned once per week! I shopped till I dropped, I had coffee in regular coffee shops every day, I had lunch with my husband (and he was v sweet re: the playdate fiasco). I did a lot of the things I had forgotten how to do since becoming a SAHM. It took planning but it felt good. I even managed to ignore housework on the whole.....
and I.bought.shoes.
Oh yes :)
5 comments:
cool shoes, sis x
Look at those shoes! They're not even 'mom' shoes. Well done, indeed.
most decidedly not mum shoes! though i can't stagger down the hill at school pick up time in them :(
for the sake of completeness I thought I'd move this comment over from FaceBook (it's from the working-outside-the-home mum of 3 boys!)
"oh how I so envy you!
successfully took a week off work ;)I work 5 days a week and then have to come home and do housework/ironing/cooking etc - a week off of both of these jobs is impossible
solo trip to my first blogging conference (and I even spoke to people!) - if not at work then I am doing family things (most of which is tidying, ironing, ... See morehousework etc) never in a million years could I do this
successful and enjoyable family day out - being a working parent, sadly we do not get the opportunity to do this, as weekends are either sports for one of the three children, or housework being done which cannot be done whilst I am at work
Mother's Day and there were no tears (well, a few from me at gift giving) - mothers day this year was a rugby tournament for one, whilst I had the other two at home
my husband understood what I was talking about/getting upset over (big thing this one)
featured artist at my local artist cooperative (see above) - could never even wish to do anything like this
have blogged every weekday in May so far on my other blog and scheduled enough posts to cover May in the other blog - do not have time for blogging as am at work or spending good time with children
didn't have a melt down at yet another failure in childcare arrangements :( - children do not have this opportunity as are either in after school clubs or want to spend time at home as haven't had good quality family time
had a date with myself - I have not had one of these since I have had children - 12 and a half years ago
Wee Guy lost one of his troublesome teeth (with my help) (hopefully avoiding a trip to the dentist) - we just wait for them to fall out!
shoes! - I wish! I have not been shopping (other than the internet) in probably 10 years, to go shopping is too much of an indulgence when I have not spent quality time with my family all week
spinach, sunflower and kale seedlings coming up!!!! garden looks like a wilderness - when do I get time to plant and nurture??
had lunch with a couple of friends; totally unexpected, spontaneous and great fun - new playdate planned as a result - do not even have the opportunity to have coffee never mind lunch with friends!
I enjoy working and juggling family time and I envy SAHMs, but know I could never be one. I think we should all be grateful of what we have, and, OK, moan about how the grass is always greener on the other side. but take time to reflect on what is really important in life, for your own well being and for your family. I think I have a pretty good balance, I have given up everything for firstly my children, and secondly for work, me comes a distant third, but I am happy. Celebrate what you are able to do in your own individual circumstances, and do not think other people have it better. We are all juggling responsibilities and wants and needs, life is about creating a fulfilling balance."
and my reply from Facebook
"I must admit it was fun, and also it's easier with having just one who's in school, and not having a fulltime outside-the-home job to peel myself away from.
But, surprisingly for me, it did take some organising. Before I could commit 100% to it I had to make sure my desk was cleared for all my outside commitments ie. artist's cooperative, school ... See morevolunteering, jewelry business, VAVM CPE series, blogging. I also had to mentally switch off from all but the most basic of housekeeping ie. prepped meals from the freezer, ignored the dust bunnies, mopped spills rather than cleaned the whole floor and so on (and it was all still there waiting for me!). I wrote a list of fun things I wanted to do since so much of my time is spent fitting in childcare/entertaining around housework, provisioning, volunteering and my working-from-the-home life and I forget what I like to do. So the week beforehand was a bit busier than normal.
It was so worth it though. Though the housework is still a little sloppy, meals are improving with some inspiration, and I've settled into using time more efficiently for the volunteering etc. I've also re-discovered that 'time off' doesn't have to be a big production number - it can be a small meaningful moment scheduled into a day.
But ....... I still want to venture into the world of working outside the home. I'm sure that some people think that what I did during my week off is all that a SAHM does all day, everyday. The mere fact that I had to schedule and arrange it is proof that, at least in my world, it doesn't. Though I am more flexible and can be around for the family, it's SAHM 24/7 with no status, no pension and no independant financial stability. I've also lost my earning potential, blown my career out of the water and rely totally on J for support (which he unceasingly and generously gives us).
!!!
I do envy you with your career and fledgling business.
I'm in awe of how much you manage to work around family life.
I don't envy you your schedule or lack of family time.
I really do believe that for any mum, quality family time also includes looking after your own needs too, and at times putting them first.
I'm not a great believer in self-sacrifice. Girl - you deserve a week off."
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