Friday, July 06, 2012

friday forte: not much cop

apple ... eye ... er

This week, the very first full week of summer vacation, I've discovered that I'm not much cop at this full time mummy-thing. I'd love to separate the two sides of me, so I could parent uninterrupted by fretting about when I will next be able to get on with stuff. I'd love to be (the totally annoying and vapid), present for my child but my mind just drifts off. 
I find I haven't been listening to a word (sorry Wee Guy).

were you even listening to me?

On Tuesday we shopped for groceries and then swam; on Wednesday we visited Science World (Da Vinci); today we met mr ebb for lunch at the CBC musical nooner (with the divine Be Good Tanyas no less) and then ambled round the Art Gallery (Matisse).

you damn well notice me now!
So I've entertained, cooked, catered and educated. It's been fun but I drift off into daydreams about what I would do if I had the time to myself. And it's worse with projects on the go but no idea when I'm going to get time for them.

I managed only two hours of work at home on Tuesday and nothing since then. My one day 'in the office' was matched by the Wee Guy's drop in at Koko's; he loved it, I loved it more. 
My one weekday of being an unencumbered adult - whee! and oh boy was I productive.

I know it seems worse since we're without a schedule. It's only for a short time; since I'm in the middle of an internship I have booked summer camps to keep the Wee Guy occupied. So I do get back my headspace, but with a long spell of solo parenting looming ... bye bye evenings! 

I'd love a good long chunk of solo me-time - no household to attend to, no somebody else's needs to be met, no domestic demands on my time or attention - not forever (I'm not wishing it all away - mums are allowed to yearn for their pre-mummy state sometimes) but just forsometime. Just for one bloody week with no meals to cook, toys/books to find, piles to tidy, beings to organise, and so on. It sounds harsh, but I'm not the only one thinking this way. Valerie has blogged about the release of an entire summer over on Mothering in the Middle. Even a recent study showed that intense mothering isn't necessarily best.
(Betty Friedan covers the subject more than adequately in that book.)
Parenting shouldn't be so all-consuming. 
I need some balance ... oh, and I think I'm finally getting somewhere.
not now - i'm eating

But despite the mini-rant, this week has been fun. We had a fun swim, settled on some new summer chores and enjoyed the sun (at last). The Wee Guy is great company for the mundane and a surprisingly erudite companion for the academic/arty. We were both thoroughly immersed in the two exhibitions (Da Vinci at Science World and Matisse at the Art Gallery) and chattered on about them for ages afterwards. 

Education is good but it's much more fun with a buddy :)

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