friday forte: my mind, myself

across the finish line, originally uploaded by ebbandflo_pomomama.

I admit - I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now. A little on the sensitive side.
Not sure if it's a lack of sleep or the constancy of solo parenting right now.
Maybe it's worry?
Not enough exercise? calories? sex? headspace? vitamin B12? kittens? sunshine?
Whatever - you scratch and I will bleed ... copiously.

I made The Mistake of sharing a triumph with someone else; someone who seems incapable of being unreservedly happy for me without injecting a few what ifs? doubt and whatever the complete opposite of unbridled joy is (bridled joy?).

Open the door to self-doubt, reptile brain, uncertainty and hello to feeling like I haven't a clue!

Oh bollocks

And then I remembered.
I actually do have a clue. It might not be your clue but it is a clue.

There is a big (big) difference between constructive criticism and bringing someone down a peg or two; I know where to go for both of these.

I am happy with what I've done - I'm not looking for cheerleaders; I just want to share the happiness.
I'm heading the right way but I'm allowed detours.

I know where to find my real fan club, and they're not just at the finish line.