the original, as seen in the V&A this summer (so close)
When I was younger (so much younger than today ...) I learned to play the clarinet. Occasionally a school concert came along so my fellow musicians and I would be press-ganged into performing solos, duets and ensemble pieces with the school band (out Fiddler on the Roof medley brought tears to the eyes of parents each and every time it was played!) School uniform was de rigeur for such occasions - grey, more grey and black.
Then there was this one time, at band camp ... well, I had just bought a beautiful-to-me pair of bright scarlet court shoes. I loved them. They had a little conical heel and rounded toes and looked kick-ass. My current school shoes were sensible, black and flat. In the days leading up to the concert I had this inner dialogue going on in my head - red shoes or not? Is my playing good enough to pull off standing out from the crowd? Am I good enough? Will I just look ridiculous? Shouldn't I just look like everyone else and play it safe?
Red shoes won the day. I wasn't one to worry about what other people thought since I wasn't part of the popular crowd anyway (something I give thanks for to this day). As I clicked my way up to the piano to play a fiendish Lutoslawski Dance Prelude, I felt a million dollars and knew that I had practised well enough to pull off the performance with panache. And I did. No bravery required, just the confidence to ignore the doubters and put up with a few jibes.
Recently, that old sense of confidence is slowly coming back. I've already managed to ignore other people's lack of confidence in what I'm doing, and now I've started to believe in myself. After being my own worst critic for over a decade, I'm starting to have more confidence in my own abilities once more. I'm starting to feel that yes, I am good enough. What a cliche, but it feels like waking up after a long sleep.
Where did I put those red shoes?
believe in yourself - don't be afraid to stand out from the crowd :)
When I was younger (so much younger than today ...) I learned to play the clarinet. Occasionally a school concert came along so my fellow musicians and I would be press-ganged into performing solos, duets and ensemble pieces with the school band (out Fiddler on the Roof medley brought tears to the eyes of parents each and every time it was played!) School uniform was de rigeur for such occasions - grey, more grey and black.
Then there was this one time, at band camp ... well, I had just bought a beautiful-to-me pair of bright scarlet court shoes. I loved them. They had a little conical heel and rounded toes and looked kick-ass. My current school shoes were sensible, black and flat. In the days leading up to the concert I had this inner dialogue going on in my head - red shoes or not? Is my playing good enough to pull off standing out from the crowd? Am I good enough? Will I just look ridiculous? Shouldn't I just look like everyone else and play it safe?
Red shoes won the day. I wasn't one to worry about what other people thought since I wasn't part of the popular crowd anyway (something I give thanks for to this day). As I clicked my way up to the piano to play a fiendish Lutoslawski Dance Prelude, I felt a million dollars and knew that I had practised well enough to pull off the performance with panache. And I did. No bravery required, just the confidence to ignore the doubters and put up with a few jibes.
Recently, that old sense of confidence is slowly coming back. I've already managed to ignore other people's lack of confidence in what I'm doing, and now I've started to believe in myself. After being my own worst critic for over a decade, I'm starting to have more confidence in my own abilities once more. I'm starting to feel that yes, I am good enough. What a cliche, but it feels like waking up after a long sleep.
Where did I put those red shoes?
believe in yourself - don't be afraid to stand out from the crowd :)
