Friday, February 11, 2011

friday forte: mortality and silence

Roots exhibition
one result of all that busy-ness

Today I'm pondering two absolutes; silence and mortality.
On my way in to Vancouver this morning I listened to Jian Ghomeshi's broadcast, Q. I can't listen to him while I'm working (too distracting as he's usually got something worth stopping to listen to and digest which is no good for the creative process "in the moment" - sorry Jian, but it's CBC R2 all the way for bench-time). He usually starts with a monologue - his take on what's happening in the world, news, life and so on. I'm not often presented with someone else's opinion these days so I listen (and learn). This morning was about the demise of the tape player as standard in cars, plus some nostaligia for mixed tapes, musical autonomy, and growing up. All pretty standard, but then he commented on the loss of the silent periods during rewinds.

Hmm, silence. Not a lot of that around these days.

Number 2.
My appointment this morning was at the very swish Pacific Dermaesthetics centre on West Georgia; home to laser, botox, rejuvenation, and peels. Me? I'm just happy to be here full stop. My skin rebelled on me over two decades ago and I'm now the frequently scrutinised survivor of malignant melanoma. Every year I'm reminded how lucky I am to be around, and that mortality is not to be taken for granted.

I've had twenty five or more years which, in a parallel universe, were maybe not mine for the taking. And what have I done with my gift? On a good day, I'm not doing too badly - gorgeous son, rewarding career, motherhood and new life as an artist. On a bad day ... well, if you're a regular reader of the blog you will already know what the bad days are like.

Right now I'm trying hard to make my life "work" around family and immigrancy. I'm trying, maybe a little too hard, to make my days meaningful and productive. Recently it feels like every spare minute is crammed with at least two priority tasks competing to be finished. I have commitments to my business, my family, my community volunteer projects ... and lastly, to me. There is no time to stop, no time for any kind of silence in which to reflect. It's just go, go, go.

Is this really the best way forwards?

Disappearing silence, dwindling life expectancy ... time to make the most of right now.

... and here's a reminder of what cassette tapes could do (Maxell, not memorex, Jian!)

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