Monday, June 28, 2010

mama renew monday: all the things i didn't say

SPT Mar 20th - business as usual
me and my pair of shaddocks

(and this could be a verrrrrrrrry looooooooong series of posts ..... just sayin')

OK, so my mama renew sessions have come to a close and I'm going to miss getting together with a simply awesome bunch of mamas on monday nights. If you want to know what we talked about .... then I suggest you sign up for your own sessions - what goes on at mama renew, stays at mama renew.

But usually the questions 'in class' begat more questions and ponderings and exploration so perhaps I'll have a wee peek at some of the issues I've been left musing over.

In our last class we were asked "what holds you back?" or words to that effect. Fear? Embarrassment? Lack of confidence? Inertia? Lack of time? Yes, well apart from lack of time (the usual culprit) what does hold me back from achieving my goals and attaining joy? I didn't answer - I knew only too well what it is that is holding me back and I didn't want to spoil the meeting by getting all ranty (I save this for the blog, dear reader) and then becoming all blotchy with crying (sometimes I just don't feel like becoming that raw in public, unless it's the pool and I can blame the chlorine).

I'm as good at self-sabotage as the next woman but what really holds me back from my goals and joy? It's knowing that it's all completely up to me. Once more it is all my responsibility to get something done. There's no one who can do it for me and no one who will step in with a master plan of organisation ...... and after spending what seems like a lifetime doing what seems like everything for everyone else I'm really getting tired of it .... so the thought of having to haul my butt in gear yet again, and even though it's for me this time, just doesn't fill me with enthusiasm.

Ever felt like that?


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