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| testing out new oil bars in my sketchbook |
I admit - the Wee Guy's birthday week was a bittersweet, marking ten years as mum to the most wonderful, joyous, feisty little human-being-in-progress ever (biased I know but so true IMO) but also a decade of standing still. If anything, I feel worse off than when I arrived in Canada twelve years ago.
While mr ebb has moved jobs, been promoted and 'seen the world', and the Wee Guy has learned to walk, read, write and become a keen-eyed camera enthusiast/cartoonist/inventor/scientist/philospher, I am still unemployed, at-home, directionless, and stuck. It's frustrating, I'll be honest, and feels out of my control. To stop the 'count your blessings cheerleaders in the crowd, after a year of applying for jobs I've yet to land one interview.
When I arrived in Canada, freshly unemployed and facing endless time on my hands, I chose volunteering to build my new networks. I've explored new options - my previous careers weren't ones that fitted well with my expectations of parenting - why have a child when all you want to do is work outside the home full time? (Note: this is my opinion, for my family circumstances - there's no judgement implied). I continued volunteering to develop the skills SAHMs are told keep fresh while vegetating domestically. With practical application of (expensive) classroom lessons, my skills are tested and proven, not theoretical.
But I'm still hitting a brick wall.
And frankly, after ten years, it's getting a little monotonous.
And not a little depressing.
So I wallowed a little a lot until mr ebb worked his magic.
I'm still applying for jobs (and there are some outrageous postings out there, asking for either unfeasible skill sets or outrageous lengths of experience for junior salaries) but also rethinking the working-from-home option. I've started writing for a local website (OK, yes I did land an interview if you can count coffee with a friend as such) - first post published this Wednesday, thank you :) and I'm formulating a business plan for basic social network set-up services (I am amazed how many people I speak to don't know how to get started on social media or even set up a simple template web site - stay tuned for endless promotion!).
In the meantime, I'm getting back to 'enjoying the moment' - daft as it seems, when all you can think about is how useless you must be if you can't land an interview despite skills, experience and certification, moments are hard to enjoy. Playing around with new crayons seems like a good antidote.
