resigned

in my happy place: sketching and eating breakfast at the art gallery

Resigned currently, temporary but resigned. I've jacked in my current position as default parent for at least today, burned out by Spring Break--before, during and most likely after too since there will be the inevitable mad scramble to catch up with everything that I put on hold while i juggled the aforementioned default parenting planning for and during Spring Break.

...but right now I am taking a break from the default parenting, domestic concierge role, relationship whisperer, provisioner and household management guru, schedule wrangler to write uninterrupted, sketch uninterrupted, be me uninterrupted...

Selfish --yes, most definitely but the reprieve/relief/retirement/resignation is only temporary.

I need this moment to recharge my batteries -- the emotional ones, the mental health ones, the kindness ones, the energy and stamina ones, the self confidence ones, the creative ones -- i recognised way too late as usual that levels were down to critical and gave my wee guy a tongue lashing that he only partially deserved and that i should have been grown up enough to hold back.

The simple truth though is that there is not a lot right now that recharges me unless I myself make the effort to plug in and boost the cells. Parenting is delightful but hard work and eats the time. Working is delightful but hard work and eats the time. Yes, I am married, but that too is hard work ... None of these is something I want to give up but all currently drain more energy than they add so I take positive steps to recharge and stay topped up.

I wish I could say that there is a better safety net here to catch me when I fall, but there isn't and hasn't been for a long time. So this is me, AWOL and re-charging the only way I know how. Try not to judge!