dear universe

 dear universe.....

dear universe - please send me a boyfriend for valentine's day.

the thought of being on my own--yet again-- on this day especially hurts more than most. the empty weekends, the times i've filled with being busy, the solo excursions, the dates with myself all pale into insignificance when i think about feb 14 and being solo.

last feb 14 was my first truly solo, i guess. i was the only single person at ballroom dance classes - the husbands (average age around 75y!) all pity-danced with me that night. it was sweet, sad, sweet - i took myself off for a bravery ice cream, by myself.

and cried. lots.

last year, i thought i had a boyfriend, only he said nothing about valentine's day. in fact he'd be absent unexplainedly a lot -- i later found out he had a longterm girlfriend already so his priorities were her -- for holidays, weekends, birthdays, valentine's day...

so dear universe - please send me someone. this year, i'm more than ready to be somebody's person. more than ready to be somebody's default - for birthdays, for weekends, for vacations, for february 14...and they would be my default too

dear universe