Wee Guy: i really like spending time with you
Monday, August 30, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
i've decided to declare my 45th birthday a halfway point of some sort.
my mid-life crisis is hopefully sliding down the other side of the hill towards graceful acceptance, so maybe it's peaked and i can get on with living once more.
i've cast off certain expectations, found i can relax and let go to enjoy myself - maybe this is maturity?
but i also feel as though i can still be passionate enough and interested in what's going on around me to still hold an opinion - maybe this is maturity too?anyway, and in summary, i no longer feel like i'm staring down a steep and utter descent into darkness.
i don't feel so much that it's all too late and there's not much i can do about forging my own path in life.
i still feel nervous, and i still feel as if i really shouldn't waste another moment.
but i don't feel quite so un-guided.
i feel hopeful.
i think i may have an inkling of a route map.i think it's about bloody time!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Life is indeed a beach:)
heron on beach at Roesland
just round the corner from Gowland Point
our lunch beach, last day :(
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
For some reason, best known only to himself, the Wee Guy was adamant it was Wednesday thus wishing away a day of holiday.
He wasn't convinced until we signed in for kayak rental then took the word of a complete stranger.
Other good news; the spare camera battery is operational (forgot the adapter plug for the charger) so I can take more pics. Managed to wangle some embroidery time at the beach (where else?) and again at the cafe. I also engineered some 'quiet time' for me and the computer during the evening swim (them, not me and 120V) but the internet in the cottage is trying to kill me by not performing.
I'm a little tense.
School starts in two weeks (first day back is only half an hour - don't get me started on that little
Keep the faith.
(Honestly, I am enjoying myself.)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Forgive the title but .... Pender Island is awash with millions of these little fuckers right now. As soon as I sit down on the deck I'm surrounded by them checking me over for foodscraps. Having a picnic outside has been "interesting" unless the spot is well picked, and they're even active on windswsept beaches.
|fuzzy foreshore courtesy of the millions of wasps buzzing around|
It's not very relaxing. They are even appearing in tweets.
This evening we gave up on attempting dinner on the deck and stayed inside. The last few evenings have been a movable feast as we get and run mid-course when the onslaught gets too much.
Leave us alone! We're on holiday! (trying to be at one with nature btw, but you're not helping)
But I guess we have arrived slap-bang in the middle of their most active season for aggressively collecting sweet stuff (I kid you not). Late summer coincides with the time when most wasp colonies have grown very strong and the new crop of females are flying around looking for mates. Interestingly, it's only the females which sting and also it's only the fertilised females which survive an over-wintering. These fertilised females store sperm inside their bodies to start the new wasp colonies the next spring. Although they typically use and re-use the sperm to fertilise their eggs (have you noticed it's always the women of the family that get stuck with carrying out the reduce, re-use, recycle message?), by late summer they are 'empty' and need a new mate . A holiday is probably the last thing on their mind .... or maybe they too have heard of the hedonism of Ibiza during the summer?
I admit, I'm impressed. Yay for the wasp sisterhood (they do good work by eating crop-destroying and garden pests) and their social structure, but I wish they'd keep out of my holiday. Much as I realise I shouldn't swat them (since they release a chemical cry for help to attract more buddies) or wave my hands around in a flustereed fashion (as I don't want to be a contriibutor to the Schmidt Sting Pain Index), I do find leaving the odd cadaver a just reward for the amount of aggro they are currently causing.
|the one that didn't get away!|
PS: otherwise holiday going well so far. please click on the link below to help subsidise my next one :)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
We spent the day at the beach ..... well a wee bit of the morning and all of the afternoon. One of the many pleasures of beign on holiday is not having to conform to the norms of daily life by the clock, so it was just before noon when we finally rolled into the car en famille. Our destination was Gowland Point, the southernmost tip of South Pender; home to a beautiful shingly beach which we had visited on our last holiday here.
Nellie joined us for lunch .... and behaved impeccably
This year, to the delight of the Wee Guy, we were joined by a friend. Nellie, a young border collie decided to adopt us and train us for the afternoon. She taught us, especially the Wee Guy, to throw sticks for her to fetch. I had completely forgotten what a true joy it is to mix dog and beach together. Not since dear old Toby have we had such a fullbeach experience :)
Seeing the two of them playing together (and Nellie was so good with our little boy) reminded me that kids and dogs can go very well together. Although he's a little young right now, I do see a special dog in our Wee Guy's future. Pets are great way to teach responsibility, biology, life, death and empathy, and they can also fill the void of companionship for a singleton. A dog can be a friend, a confidante, a comfort when all the world is against you, a brother-in-arms, a partner in crime, or even a scapegoat. A dog can be a first love and a first loss.
keeping an eye out for a stick-throwing opportunity
In fact, this evening the Wee Guy did once again berate us for not providing him with a sibling. It's become a frequent event recently, but for matters biological not something we can readily remedy. Although I do understand where he's coming from, I don't think we're doing to badly for him as parents. True, there's no one to deflect the constant two-on-one discipline issues but on the other hand, he doesn't have to share our attention or our finances. We seek out socialisation for him, though I am apparently crap at organising playdates, and provide him with stimulating life experiences (geez, I sound like a crunchy parenting manual). In short, I don't think we do too badly in everything apart from demo'ing our fertility.
with his first canine companion
At my age, a dog would be easier :)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Another year older, another year wiser?
Well, another year thru my forties I suppose.
PS: still happy :) except that I flippin' forgot the camera charger when packing for holiday! There might not be that many pics coming! Grrrrr.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Right now I'm happy and somewhat content.
It's a nice feeling.
It's not that there's nothing to write about but I just thought you might like to know that it's not all angst in world.
Right now I'm feeling happy.
There are still Things I Need To Do.
I still don't have nearly enough time in the day to get them done (some very strict self-scheduling required here).
There are still aspects of my life as a SAHM which I would love to change.
And I'd still like some sympathy and understanding of what I have been going through. I don't want solutions or commiserations; I'd just like you to say, "Yes, it sucks. I'm sorry it's been happening to you. I don't like it when someone I care about is going through a bad patch."
I don't want to be told to 'pull myself together' or to 'quit griping, there are those worse off than you' or that my problems are either nothing or are my own fault.
And I hope that I can remember this when I meet someone else going through a troublesome time.
PS: the birthday's next week; chocolate, cheques, bath goodies, fine wines, iPods, smartphones, etc. can be mailed to the usual address ..... ;)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
This is the last week of Any Organised Camp For The Wee Guy so I'm trying to race through all the Stuff I Should Be Doing uninterrupted. He told me yesterday that he wished he was in fulltime after school care because he finds being at home with me boring. He could meet new friends everyday instead of being stuck at home with me.
Please go check out my blog posts from a month ago to see how "great" that one made me feel.
Then run a search for 'playdates' or 'childcare failures' .......
Apart from his Words of Wisdom I'm actually feeling a little bit up (gasp). I've got a new distracter figured out (a website revamp) and a couple of orders have come in from one of my (almost empty) Etsy shops completely out-of-the-blue. I sold some earrings today and have a pendant to deliver on Thursday. I even sold a necklace at the farmer's market last week! (yes, in the heat!).
I am however, Still No Closer To Sorting Out My Life but then maybe my mission is to continue the search. The out-of-school care question and the Y2Play pass for Grouse this winter are subtly screaming at me to avoid fulltime employment (sorry mr ebb). Maybe the lure of unlimited playtime on snow will focus my afterschool care search?
or maybe this nice pair of Fluevogs will be my salvation?
Saturday, August 07, 2010
the start of our slow food cycle ride through Pemberton Meadows two years ago
BC (that's British Columbia aka the west-est bit of Canada to those of you with a hazy grasp of global geography) is currently reeling from its summer dealing of wildfires. The forests round here are so tinder dry that they are literally going up in flames. Some of this is due to lightening strikes but unfortunately the majority are due to human carelessness (and in some cases, deliberate acts). Communities are under evacuation order or choking in smoke. Even Lower Mainland (that's the bit at the bottom left next to the pacific and the US) is under a hazy blanket of smoke/smog. Rain today has been a welcome relief and I hope it's bucketing down in the areas suffering from forest fires.
If it's not burning, it's sliding. A massive landslide occurred to the north of Pemberton early on Friday morning, obliterating a forestry road and blocking a creek outflow. Caused by the melting Capricorn Glacier, this event (the second largest slide in Canadian history) initiated an evacuation order for the Pemberton Valley 65km away due to fears of catastrophic flooding if the artificial dam breached suddenly. The evacuation order has now been removed and residents can return to this beautiful area.
a slideshow of our cycle through Pemberton Meadows during the slow food cycle two years ago
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Almost cheating but a quick update on some new projects I've been working on for this Thursday's New Westminster Farmer's Market - wire crochet craft kits!
For the full story check out my other blog (this is the cheeky bit)!
Hope to see you at the market! It's a great place for a late afternoon family outing, with lots of scrummy food, not-too-busy face painting and even a children's play area!
Monday, August 02, 2010
There will indeed be fireworks tonight if my new install of the ComLuv / Intense Debate comment system does not go through smoothly!
Heads will roll ....
I've done a template re-install since the widget install swallowed up all the comments that there had ever been on my blog ...... no fair.
But now, it seems that all the comments from the last few days have vanished too.
I invite you to re-add your words of wisdom (and congratulations on my new less cluttered blogginess) if you can remember them.
If not, they are engraved on my heart (cos I've deleted them from my inbox).
Sunday, August 01, 2010
So .... that was July? The sun finally arrived for the holidays. The holidays are almost half over and so far the Wee Guy has been to cycling, sailing and an overnight camp. He's grubby, tanned and happy. He can paddle a kayak, has lost his training wheels (finally) and fallen into the Burrard Inlet (out near the seals). And he wants to do it all again. Summer is way too short.
We've had a family camping trip, mosquitoes and rants included. We survived and enjoyed. I even felt like I had a holiday, despite being left with the pre-trip donkey work (leaking batteries aren't a vital part of camping equipment).
(left) our bug-infested 'home-away-from-home
I've had a whirlwind trip through imagining myself in outside employment - my resume is now dusted, my interview skills shaken out and I learned that I haven't been wasting the last nine years as a 'kept' woman (didn't get the job though!). I did however, find out what my gut reaction to putting the Wee Guy in full time after school care is. Despite my kvetching about frustration I just couldn't solve it by shutting him out of my/his life to that extent. However, as I explore other options, perhaps a restricted period of full time care will be necessary to achieve my flexible working goal? Dilemma. Not sure of anything yet except that it's something that I will have to set in place.And it will be something a lot more reliable than just casual playdates (which have not worked) or reliance on ad hoc arrangements.
Spent Canada Day selling my carp in the rain, followed by pancakes with firefighters, and then New Westminster Farmer's Market in blazing sunshine. Sold well in the rain but not in the sun where it was far too hot to even think about putting anything extra, including a bracelet, on.
I read an awful lot of books on depression in July. Hmmmm. Like putting money into the charity collecting tin they aren't a good luck charm, but I do now understand a huge amount more about myself ..... and what the future holds. :) I also read two Artemis Fowl novels (thumbs up - we've been listening to the audiobooks in the car) and some juggling motherhood/career/relationship self help books. Still haven't found the answers but have reminded myself how much I like reading.
I had a pedicure while knitting at the Port Moody Stitch and Bitch (thanks for organising this @yarnraptor). I still have cute turquoise green tootsies :) I've also knitted through tae kwon do lessons, the fireworks (see below), craft fairs, a family holiday and cycle camp.
My work's on display again. The artist cooperative is having a group show at the local arts centre, and my necklace is in the display case. Whoop! The wire crochet Summer Fun class was immense fun (thank you ladies!) and I've almost completed the associated paperwork (efficient ole me).
And to end July, we spent yesterday evening in Vancouver watching the Celebration of Lights firework display with the Wee Guy. It was his 'first' since leaving Vancouver for the 'burbs. When we lived in Kits we would trundle his stroller down Cypress to Vanier and gaze at the bright lights while he slept thru all the explosions! This time he stayed awake.
it's the one on the left!
writing and publishing
Scheduled a whole heap of blog posts and tweets for the Blackberry Artists, and managed to send out July's newsletter on time for Family Place (next step is re-vamping the website and sending out August's edition this evening).
Oh, and I changed my blog design, adding CommentLuv into the comments box so you can 'advertise' your latest blogging!